And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize