so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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