I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
