we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
