In the future we'll all be gay
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
