You just made me feel so damn special
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
