This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
