i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
