where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you had me at cake vodka
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
