i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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