If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
