do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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