i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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