You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
