This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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