Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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