i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
