I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize