Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
