All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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