Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
