Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
