You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
