you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
