This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
