Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
