Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
