Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
