This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
