you would pick up someone in the library
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
