Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
