i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
