so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Vodka?
Forever.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
