You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
