i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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