The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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