No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
