We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
