Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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