He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
