Fuck appropriateness.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
