Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
