That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
