walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
