I'm drive I can fine osifer
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
