C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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