So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize