if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
