No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
