why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
