How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
