u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
