with your own penis?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
