ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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