a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There r osticjed everywhere
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
