I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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