in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
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