One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
