i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
