It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
