I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
