And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
