office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
