i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize