what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
