I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
